I've been writing stories from my childhood over the last month.  It's been a great adventure going back and reliving these memories with my friends and family.  I decided to let you have a little look into the events that helped make me who I am today.  Enjoy the journey!

The Beginning...

My earliest childhood memory happened in the womb.  I know, you think that couldn't be, but let me tell you a little story.  Fast forward 15 years...

When I was in high school, we moved to a new house where my Dad had a music room.  It consisted of his drumset, a stereo cabinet, my keyboard in the corner, and one small window.  I spent a lot of time in that room, listening to my day play, creating my own music, and listening to the stereo.  I would turn the lights out, put on his extra large padded headphones with a telephone spiral cord, lay down on my back, close my eyes and get lost in the music.

Somewhere along the line we got a Manhattan Transfer tape.  The songs were all latin-themed, with hints of Bossa Nova, Samba, and rhythmic South American beats.  It quickly became my favorite album and I had the whole thing memorized.  I couldn't tell you what drew me to these songs, they just made me feel good and whole. 

Ten years later, when I was studying jazz in college, I told my mom one day how much I loved latin jazz.  She said it was probably because my Dad used to play with a latin jazz quartet when they were first married.  She recalled traveling with the band when she was pregnant with me.  Many nights, she listened to them in clubs as she passed the time away until I came into the world.  I guess you could say I was doing the same.

I could start out by letting you all know I'm sick of rain!  It's been raining here so much this spring, that my son has only played one out of the last 7 soccer games scheduled!  Enough is enough!  But last summer, we were in a drought, so I guess everyone's summertime prayers are now being answered.  Thank you God.

But really I'm thinking more about why for some people, life just seems to be one storm after another.  I have a good friend who is in what seems to be her never-ending storm season.  Just when things begin to settle, there's yet another challenge thrown her way.  It doesn't make any sense.  Matter of fact, I find myself wondering when it's all going to change for me.  You know, life is good right now.  No complaints...I feel really blessed.  But I know it could all change tomorrow.  I'm living in borrowed blessings.  Here today, gone tomorrow.  And I guess that her situation could also change tomorrow and she could enter her time of blessings. 

But, where do we really meet God and become more like Him?  I believe it's more in our stormy seasons.  I know that's when I've grown the most.  What is it about our human nature that keeps us from learning in the blessing times?  I wish I knew.  I would love to become more Godly by noticing all the wonderful things God's doing in my life every day and by being grateful for the air I breathe.

Last month, I challenged myself to stop complaining.  It's so easy to focus on the negative.  Even about stupid stuff.  But, Philippians 4:8 says to "think about what is true, noble, good, and right" and not focus on the negative.  It's been a hard scripture to follow this month, even in my time of blessings.  I have much to learn.  I know that means there are more stormy seasons where I'll get to "test" my faith.  Thank you God for my blessings, and please turn my friend's stormy season into her sunny season...she's waterlogged!

For all who have dedicated their lives to ministry, especially the Franciscan Sisters of Mary.

Old age, lines gracefully scrawled out on their faces, telling a story of a life lived for one great purpose. Others. Self-denying, self-offering, gratifying, sacrificing, and devoted. One line is from years of friendships, giving endlessly and receiving abundantly more back than what was given. Another line for memories of childhood innocence, playing outside ‘til the sun set. One line tells of perseverance under trial – a non-surrendering fight against evil. One line tells of a hand extended to help a loved one welcome eminent death. One line is fear of poverty. Always being a step away from poor, but knowing that she would see God there. A line from years of tears, trailing down her face for a lost world. Another line from years of laughter and amazement of her Lord’s wonderful provision. One line for each friend or family member who has passed away. A line for faithless times when God seemed distant, another when He turned out to be there all along. One line for being upright and standing against the odds. One line for telling stories to all who would listen to the wisdom she had learned. Another line for going against the current when God called her to act on His promise. And lines for pain and sorrow, grief and despair, which makes her beautiful now – a stunning novel of a life lived fully and without regret. May they be blessed and called daughters of the Most High God. Their story has no end, it will continue years beyond those lines.

For starters, I want to say hi to my web friends in San Jose, CA, Frankfurt Am Main, Germany, and Roubaix, France. You all have found me somehow, and I’m so glad that you’ve visited my site and are reading my blog. I hope you continue find it entertaining, thought-provoking and interesting.

This week I had one of those very rare moments that I believe will stay with me for the rest of my life. Have you ever spent time with someone and felt that it was a divine encounter? I had a short lunch date this week with a new friend I’ll call Karlene (to protect her identity). Our paths first crossed when I sang for a cancer support group banquet she was attending a few weeks ago. We talked shortly after the event and she later emailed me asking me if she could get more of my CDs. Something prompted me to get these to her ASAP. So, a few days later, we met for lunch.

I had a feeling in my spirit that Karlene was a wonderful person from our first interaction, but was overwhelmed to hear her story and the way God has worked in her life. So much so, that it has made me examine my life numerous times this week.

Karlene has cancer that is hitting her for the second time. Her first bout was cleared and she resumed a normal life until just over a month ago. Now it is forming tumors in her brain. It threatens to steal her very life from her, but Karlene is a fighter and is not going down that easily. She has some important things to take care of. One of her daughters is having a baby this spring, and another one is getting married. She’s determined to dance at the wedding.

But the most amazing thing I learned about her was the circle of support she’s surrounded by. Two family members who joined her at the banquet were widowed by cancer and are now by her side helping her through it. They have been there for each other and for each other’s spouses over a series of unbelievable challenges. The message I kept hearing from her stories was love; love for the helpless, the sick, the lonely, and especially love for those who cannot love back. Christ’s message in a nutshell. Nothing really matters in life unless we are showing love to those in our life, unconditionally. It doesn’t matter what we achieve, or how much we’re worth, or how many “important” things fill our schedule. All that really matters is love. Love we give and love we receive. Karlene has been on both ends. She’s been there for others who have lost their battle with cancer, and now she’s on the receiving end.

When our short time ended, I got in my car and sobbed. I was so blessed by her presence and so moved by her words. I prayed for God to heal her, to not call her home yet. This world needs people like her, who can teach us about Christ’s sacrificial love. I want others to be lifted up the way I was that day…to know that God is powerful and even when Satan tries to destroy us with his ultimate death blow, God will work in it to bring an outpouring of His love here on earth, and in heaven. We just need to open our eyes to notice it. God bless you, Karlene and thanks so much for the living example of love that you shared with me. May God continue to use your life, no matter how long, to bring Him Glory!

I had Jury Duty last week. I thoroughly wasn’t prepared for what the day had in store. I’ve served Jury Duty one other time about 10 years ago. I wasn’t selected to sit on the jury, and I remember being dismissed by about 1:00 the same day. No sweat. But this one was different…very different.

I won’t go into any details on the case, since I’m not supposed to. I’ll just share my thoughts on the justice process. Funny thing is, I wasn’t selected for this jury either, but the selection process which lasted until 5:30 pm that day gave me much to ponder over the next few days. I don’t ever remember being more disturbed than I was by this.

The case involved a three time convicted Violent Sexual Predator. Matter of fact, that is his new title after the three day trial convicted him once again and gave him this permanent name. I sat in the court room with 68 other potential jurors and was positioned about 10 feet from the defendant all day. He was about my dad’s age and looked like any other man his age. But after hearing brief details of his actions over the last 20 years, I felt such disgust being that close to him.

As the attorneys questioned us all throughout the day, I was having an inner battle in my mind about God’s forgiveness, justice, and my place in this all. The question that was posed to all of us individually was, “If the plaintiffs fail to provide reasonable evidence to commit this man, would I be okay with following the law which then says he is a free man?” Tough question. He had already served his prison sentence, and therefore was “punished” adequately. But I had a hard time with that. His victims will live forever with horrific memories scarring them. And he would be free. It just didn’t seem like justice to me. And then I thought about Jesus asking the crowd for the person without sin to cast the first stone. No one did. I was sitting there as a sinner as well. Was I wrong to want this man locked up forever? I couldn’t help thinking of my children’s safety and all the other children that would be in this man’s path thereafter.

And how does God view all of this? I don’t know of the man’s beliefs and whether he’s repented. He may very well be a Christian and have been forgiven. Would that make me feel differently? I felt very convicted of my own pride and judgment and still have a hard time sorting all this out.

I know in my heart that God has the power to forgive, extend mercy and grace. It’s our place in this that I am questioning. I think our judicial system is one of the best in the world, yet it is not perfect. I’m really glad I didn’t have to sit on that jury and decide that man’s fate. But I’m so grateful for God’s perfect justice, forgiveness, mercy and grace. We all as sinners have gone astray. But by His great love, He has given us new life through Jesus Christ, who has taken our punishment by death on a cross that we might live forever as free men. All for the praise and glory of God! God is so good!

We just endured yet another move. This one has had an interesting twist though. You see, my husband and I both lived in this subdivision before. We were both in high school, though not at the same time. It’s a wonderful community with a large lake for boating and skiing. We’ve been out on our boat a couple of times and I keep having these flashbacks to 20 years ago. That’s when I lived here. I have a brother, Derek, who was a very good water skier and we spent many summer days on the water watching him master the latest trick. The flashbacks came when my son (who is the same age my brother was when we lived here before) tried out his new kneeboard and then skied for the first time. I really had to keep reminding myself that it was Guy, not Derek, out there. Where did all the time go?

I only lived here during 3 years of high school, but a lot of memories are made then. It’s where I learned to drive, my husband and I met, I got my first jobs and later got engaged. So it’s interesting coming back. Some things are the same, but many have changed. I still remember all my friends’ houses and the local hangouts like they were yesterday. Where did all the time go?

I had my class reunion this summer. More flashbacks. But I have to say, I’m so happy where I am in life. And everyone seemed to have the same feeling. This is a good age and place in life. We’re finally content with who we are, have found meaning in our work, and are raising families of our own and trying to make their lives rich and meaningful. The saying, “Everything comes back around again” and the variations of it are so true. Even when you least expect them to. But I don’t believe it’s a bad thing. So, hang onto those cute little shoes you think you’ll never wear again. And don’t proclaim you’ll never go there or do that again. Time has a way of proving us wrong. And I don’t think that’s so bad afterall.